


Maybe we'll open these wounds

by GaneWhoo



Series: Supercat prompts and Co [4]
Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F, Insecurities, Wedding Proposal, age gap, open wounds
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-18
Updated: 2017-02-18
Packaged: 2018-09-25 09:36:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,722
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9813494
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GaneWhoo/pseuds/GaneWhoo
Summary: “Mom. Mom?”Carter’s voice is gentle when he spoke. He has a rich, deep tone that wraps around her like a safety blanket and she can’t help it but smile. It’s a very small and exhausted gesture but it’s there and she can see the relief sparkle in her son’s blue eyes.[...]“Yes, sweetheart?” She asks, her lips curling upward in a smirk when he frowns and stare at her. He’s twenty-five now and he doesn’t like when she calls him sweet names, especially not when they are not at home. He doesn’t say anything though and he simply comes to sit in one of the armchair in front of her desk.“You’re working late.” He states quietly, watching as she put her pen down on the stack of papers she was studying before his appearance. It wasn’t a question and she simply arches a brow, waiting for him to get to the point. He rarely stops by CatCo anymore and she misses the time when he would just sit on one of her couches to do his homework, waiting for her to be done so they could come home together.“Kara called.”





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [racheltuckerrr](https://archiveofourown.org/users/racheltuckerrr/gifts).



“Mom. Mom?”

Carter’s voice is gentle when he speaks. He has a rich, deep tone that wraps around her like a safety blanket and she can’t help it but smile. It’s a very small and exhausted gesture but it’s there and she can see the relief sparkle in her son’s blue eyes.  
He’s a young man now, with brown hair and a stubble showing on his lower face. It suits him. She likes how he looks now, tall and strong and with a quiet sense of confidence surrounding him like an aura. His hair is darker and shorter than the unruly curls she used to ruffle anytime he was teasing her. His eyes are a shade darker than when he was just a little boy crushing on Supergirl and he is wearing a suit that she knows for fact is griffed.

“Yes, sweetheart?” She asks, her lips curling upward in a smirk when he frowns and stare at her. He’s twenty-five now and he doesn’t like when she calls him sweet names, especially not when they are not at home. He doesn’t say anything though and he simply comes to sit in one of the armchair in front of her desk.

“You’re working late.” He states quietly, watching as she put her pen down on the stack of papers she was studying before his appearance. It wasn’t a question and she simply arches a brow, waiting for him to get to the point. He rarely stops by CatCo anymore and she misses the time when he would just sit on one of her couches to do his homework, waiting for her to be done so they could come home together.

“Kara called.” He’s looking at her, deep blue eyes unwavering and she clenches her jaw, gritting her teeth. She picks up her pen and pushes a piece of paper aside before starting to focus on the numbers sprayed across her desk. She had always hated reviewing the budget but for once, it’s a welcome distraction. Carter knows her though and he doesn’t fall for her attitude.

“She said she’s leaving in a few days and she asked if I was free for dinner sometimes.” He continues and she can feel his gaze on her. He’s patient and calm and she’s proud of him but she doesn’t want to talk about Kara.

“Good for her. I hope you’ll have a nice dinner.” She replies, striking off a line that doesn’t fit in the furniture outlays. She winces when the pen tip almost rip the paper apart and she knows, without even looking up, that Carter saw it.

“Mom. It’s been three months.” He says quietly, barely whispering the words and she feels a hand curl around her shoulder. She didn’t hear him when he rose up from his sit to lean across the desk and she blinks a few times. He’s watching her with a gentle smile etched on his lips and she finds herself smiling in return, despite her best intentions to stay indifferent. She’s never been able to be mad at him, not even when he put himself in danger by climbing aboard Max Lord’s super train, all those years ago.

“I know.” She slowly breathes and it hurts. It hurts because for the last three months, she’s been desperately alone and miserable.  
Once upon a time, loneliness had been her very best friend and her loyal ally in the conquest of an empire she had now brought to the very top of itself but then, years ago and one stupid morning at 10.15, someone had entered her office and then everything changed.

Kara Danvers had crept into her life in such a subtle way it took her years to realize it.

Cat Grant, Queen of all media, most influential person in National City, multiple time awarded journalist and owner of the most powerful media outlet of the country, fell in love with her sunny, infuriatingly naive and optimistic assistant, who also happened to be National City’s beloved superhero.

They danced around each other for months, years even.

She’d left CatCo at some point, persuaded it was the right thing to do for the both of them. Then Supergirl was spotted all across the globe, conveniently showing up in all the cities Cat was staying and it didn’t take long for the press to take hold of the story. The rumors of her dating Supergirl went worldwide and after six months of it, she’d decided to come home to give this relationship a chance and oh, she hadn’t expected to end up so happy.

It had lasted and lasted and, after two years, she’d even allowed herself to stop waiting for the other shoe to drop.

She’d been blissfully happy for a little over ten years before everything went sideways.

“She asked about you, you know. She sounded sad but her interest was genuine. She asked me if you finally went to that ceremony award you were invited to, six months ago.” Carter says, slowly brushing his fingers against his mother’s shoulder. After all these years, he was still very cautious and not entirely comfortable with people in his personal space and she knows it.

She smiles absentmindedly because she remembers the day she’d opened the invitation.  
For the first time in all their shared history, Lois Lane wouldn’t get any award when Cat would be winning two and Kara had been over the moon, so proud and so fiercely happy, it had made Cat laughs with affection.

She then drops the smile and stares at her son, who’s still standing and leaning over the desk to reach her. She sighs and gently move away from his touch before standing up and making her way towards the balcony. It’s a place filled with many memories but she loves it anyway. The view changed a little over the years but it’s still breathtakingly beautiful.  
She settles in one of the seats and Carter sits in the one next to her.

“What did you tell her?” She asks and her voice is barely a murmur but he hears her. He shrugs and she smiles at the overly childish gesture. “I told her that if she really wanted to know, she just had to call you. She didn’t say anything after that and we simply agreed on a day for our dinner. I will see her Friday and her flight is on Sunday morning.”

He’s looking at her again and she can tell he’s expecting a reaction or an answer but it’s something she can’t give him. She’s feeling a little numb and a headache is slowly building its way up between her eyes so she simply sighs.

“Where is she going this time?” The words are out of her mouth before she can catch them back and she swears internally. She doesn’t want to sound like she actually cares, she wants to be strong and fierce but she’s hurting and it’s hard.

When Carter doesn’t answer, she turns her head to watch him and she catches the glimpse of fear that shines in his deep blue eyes. She swears, sometimes, it’s the same as Kara’s and she knows it’s not possible but still. They look so much alike.

“Carter? Where is she going?” She can’t help it.  
She knows that Kara will always be safer than the rest of the humanity but she’s always worried whenever Supergirl is out there, fighting aliens or intergalactic organizations. More than once over the course of their life together, she’s seen Supergirl come very very close to her end and it terrifies her that someday, someday she’ll probably die.

“Syria.” Carter says in a whisper and she feels her heart freeze for a few seconds.  
She hates that her fingers itch for her phone. She hates that everything in her screams to go all the way to Alex’s apartment to talk Kara out of the trip. She hates that she’s still so deeply in love with the girl that she can’t seem to think rationally when it comes to her.

“Well.” She breathes out in an attempt to recompose herself. She notices the way Carter frown his disapprobation but she doesn’t act on it. “I suppose it’s only logical, with everything happening there. Snapper would be a fool not to send her there, she’s the best we have.”

She’s almost impressed she can manage to say those word without missing a beat. Carter is not though. He’s looking at her as if he can see the hurt and pain swirling in her brain and body and heart and she wonders if he actually can. She doesn’t break away from his eyes and he curls his lips in a scowl and it’s like looking in a mirror, truly.

“Really, mom? You’re not going to say anything?” He pushes and she knows he’s a little scared too. She remembers the terror in his baby blue eyes each time Supergirl was displayed all over the news and the way he was always too clingy with Kara afterwards. Even today, he still meets her after a bad fight to make sure she’s okay and he’s twenty-five years old.

“No. I know how it’s like to love a job beyond sanity and I won’t get in her way. If she wants to go find a story in one of the most dangerous place on Earth, then she’s free to go. Plus, she’s bulletproof and she’ll be fine.” Cat answers with an edge in her voice and she knows Carter’s hearing it. They both know she’s lying but he doesn’t call her on it.

“Fine. Then I guess … I should get going then.” He sighs and she can tell he’s giving up. For now at least, she’s certain he will try again soon. After all, he’s her son and the Grants don’t give up. They just don’t.

He stands up and stop before her to land a kiss on her forehead and the gesture makes her smile. He smells like pine tree and citrus and she loves it on him. He’s about to leave, hovering near the glass door leading back to her office when he slowly turns around and look at her and his gaze is heavy when he speaks. “You were the one to mess up, mom. You didn’t give her the chance to explain herself so … If she doesn’t come back, you won’t be able to blame anyone else but yourself. I love you mom, I do, but you should do something, before it’s too late.”

She’s gaping at him but he doesn’t say anything more and the sound of the glass door slowly closing takes what’s left of her breath away. Carter had never been so brutally honest before and she’s not sure she likes it. She doesn’t. At all. It stings and it hurts and she knows it’s because everything he said is true. Achingly, painfully true.

She had been the one to lash out at Kara after a particularly bad rumor about her involvement with the new reporter in Snapper’s team. An article, sprawled in one of the worst tabloid of the city, had sent her spiraling back into her many, many insecurities and she’d blew it all in one terrible, terrible argument. She’d been hard and mean and abrasively cruel with Kara who, after ten years of relationship, hadn’t expected such a storm.

After Kara had flown off to her sister’s place, Cat had drunk all the bourbon she could find and she’d eventually passed out from too much alcohol. It had been three months since then and Kara never came back. As for herself, she was too wounded and proud at once to go apologize. She hates herself for that, for not being able to be humble enough to swallow her feelings and take the first step.  
She’s always trying to convince herself she can get over it but Carter’s words makes her realize it’s something else entirely that’s holding her back.

It’s fear.

Fear of having screwed things beyond repair. Fear of having to live the rest of her life without Kara by her sides. Fear of not being worthy of forgiveness. Fear of ending up alone and being the only one responsible for it.

Suddenly, she’s choking on tears that left her eyes without her input and she’s desperate to hear Kara’s voice. She stands up and goes inside her office to retrieve her phone before returning on the balcony. When she unlocks her phone, the picture on her background cuts deeply into her soul.  
It’s one of her son and Kara a few years ago, when they were trying to fly an expensive drone Carter got for his birthday. They were smiling triumphantly, looking up to the sky and she’d snapped a picture to immortalize the moment.

She hesitates and looks at Kara’s number without even seeing it. She knows it by heart now, it’s printed in her brain and she couldn’t forget it even if she tried. She sighs and Carter’s words echoes in her ears. _Before it’s too late _, he said and she knows he’s right but she wonders if it’s not too late already.__

__She hesitates again and ten minutes later, she puts her phone away and goes back into her office. She gathers her belongings and calls for a car, sending her assistant home as she walks towards her private elevator.  
He’s a fantastic at his job and even though he’s still not perfectly up to her impossible high standards, she knows she won’t find someone better so she keeps him. He’s working for her for seven years now, after having being trained by Kara._ _

__It takes her driver half an hour to stop in front of Alex Danvers building and she fidgets with her phone, considering calling Kara to meet her up in the street. She can guess Alex won’t be too kind with her and she also knows she deserves the attitude. It had taken almost four years for Alex and Cat to be able to have a civilized relationship and even though they weren’t friends exactly, it was something close enough.  
Over the years, Cat had learned to genuinely like Alex._ _

__Today however, she’s sure Alex doesn’t like her at all and she doesn’t know if she can face the elder Danvers. Her driver clears his throat and she glares at him in the mirror before exiting the car. She takes a deep breath and makes her way to the last floor, where the Danvers-Sawyer family lives._ _

__She waits a whole five minutes before knocking on the door and she hears a little girl’s voice yells “I GOT IT”. Soon enough, the door is yanked open and Lizzie, the little girl Alex and Maggie adopted six years ago, is looking at her with a frown between her green, green eyes._ _

__“Hi Lizzie, is your aunt Kara there?” She asks, forcing a smile for the little girl. She loves that kid with all her heart but she doesn’t know how to act around her anymore. It feels like she’s not allowed to even be around Lizzie at all._ _

__“Cat? What are you doing here?” Maggie says, coming behind her daughter with surprise in her eyes and an uncertain smile on her lips. Cat tries to return the gesture but it’s stiff and it doesn’t quite reach her eyes, she knows it. Maggie sees right through it too._ _

__“I’m … Is Kara here? I would like to talk to her, if possible.” Cat answers, trying to hide the waver in her voice and to sound sure. She hates the flicker of hesitation in the lieutenant’s eyes and she considers that maybe it was a bad idea to come here._ _

__“I’m here. Sorry Maggie, I’ll take it from here.” Kara’s voice is soft and Cat feels the way it envelops her. It’s familiar and it feels safe, strangely enough. Cat sees Kara approaching them from the back of the apartment and she nods slightly. Maggie hesitates for a second before speaking again “Actually, Lizzie and I are going to pick up Alex at work and we have a night out planned, is it okay with you Kara?” Cat notices the way the lieutenant is watching the younger Danvers, protectiveness and worries swirling in her dark eyes. _She deserves it _, she thinks.___ _

____“It’s okay Maggie, go have a fun night. Bye Lizzie, I’ll see you tomorrow!” Kara says, turning to face the little girl. Lizzie gives her aunt a hug and then sticks her hand into her mother’s and after a few minutes, they’re gone and Cat is left facing Kara._ _ _ _

____“Come on in.” Kara says, moving aside to let Cat enter and she closes the door behind them. Cat makes her way across the entrance and she stops in the living room, unsure about what to do._ _ _ _

____“Do you … want something to drink? Alex keeps some Bourbon in there, a fine one.” Cat hesitates and then she nods because she thinks she could use some liquid courage. She takes the opportunity to take a better look at Kara and oh, it’s a bad idea._ _ _ _

____Kara looks tired and the way she moves in almost mechanical. Gone is the infuriating spring in her steps, the bright smile and the sparkle of life in her baby blue eyes. More than ever, she looks like the woman Cat saw a few times, the one that witnessed her planet explode, the lonely orphan with souvenirs and memories that weighs heavy on her shoulders as she tries to belong on Earth.  
While Kara Danvers was sunny and optimistic, Kara Zor-El was a survivor and even though she doesn’t often show, it happens and those beautiful features, made of stardust and steel, seems old as the time itself and those deep blue eyes becomes haunted and hooded, two black holes in which it’s so easy to get lost, in which Cat could sometimes see the weight of the universe Kara was carrying around all the time._ _ _ _

____Kara looks like a ghost and Cat thinks it’s her fault._ _ _ _

____She accepts the glass and drinks a few fingers in one go, relieved to feel the brunt of the beverage sink all the way to her stomach._ _ _ _

____“I assume Carter talked to you. He mentioned he was going to stop by CatCo when I called her this afternoon.” Kara says and Cat is infinitely grateful for the fact the younger Danvers doesn’t let the silence fall between them. She’s nervous enough, underneath that cold demeanor she’s trying to fake._ _ _ _

____“He did, yes. He told me about your next assignment, too.” Kara doesn’t reply and Cat catches a slight shrug out of the corner of her eyes. She’s not facing the younger woman, she can’t bring herself to._ _ _ _

____“He sounded a little scared but I told him you’ll be fine.” Cat ads and she doesn’t mean to sound so blunt but Kara’s lips curl upward in the faintest shadow of a smile. She heard the menace in Cat’s line, the fact that she isn’t allowed to make Cat lies to her son about it._ _ _ _

____“I’m Supergirl, and I’ll be careful. I’ll be fine.” Kara replies and Cat nods appreciatively. She knows she will worry anyway but it doesn’t hurt to hear the words._ _ _ _

____“I’m surprised to see you here. For more than one reason, starting with the fact that it’s very brave of you to show up at Alex’s door. She could have been home, you know.” Kara says in a casual tone that leads Cat to believe Alex is really, really mad at her. She can understand why though and she doesn’t say anything about it._ _ _ _

____“You’re lucky she’s working late tonight.” Cat nods and then takes a few sips of Bourbon. They are talking, it’s a little awkward and very guarded but they’re not fighting and she takes it as a sign. She turns to face Kara, not completely but it’s easier that way._ _ _ _

____“I … I wanted to … I don’t know. Carter not so gently pointed that it was all my fault if we are in this situation and I know it is, I know that. I simply didn’t expect my son, out of all the people around me, to be the one to be so brutally frank about it.” She sees Kara’s lips twitch and she frowns._ _ _ _

____“Really? I’m not surprised. After all, his last name is Grant and it runs in his veins. You know, the thirst for the truth and the blunt honesty.” Kara points out and Cat can see she has a point._ _ _ _

____“True. Still, he’s so grown up now …” She trails off and Kara stays silent._ _ _ _

____“I screwed up.” She whispers next and Kara doesn’t move but Cat notices the flicker of sadness in her baby blue eyes. She closes her eyes for a second and then re-opens them to look at the younger women, not breaking away this time._ _ _ _

____“I said things and I regret them. All of them. I was unfair, mean and cruel to you and I am sorry.” Kara nods imperceptibly and Cat doesn’t know what to say next. She’s not got at apologizing, she’s not good at owning her mistakes and she’s terrified she’s going to lose Kara but she doesn’t crack. Instead, she sips at her alcohol._ _ _ _

____“Why?” It’s all Kara ask and there is so much hurt in her eyes it makes Cat feels like a monster. It’s been three months but obviously, Kara wasn’t over either._ _ _ _

____Cat swallows hard against the lump in her throat. She owes Kara the truth, she knows she does but it’s not easy. The truth is ugly and awful and it can drive them further apart and she can’t stomach it. She tries, though. Because Kara deserves it._ _ _ _

____“The article … It wasn’t the first I know but the pictures … It showed you, beautiful, young, successful, powerful … with someone your age and she’s pretty, ambitious, talented and she reminds me a little of myself and you were laughing so effortlessly … It hit all my insecurities at once. I felt so … old and bitter and so unworthy and there you were, smiling and looking at her with something like awe in your eyes and …” She hears her voice break but she shakes her head and forces herself to continue. “I am getting older and older and it shows even more with each passing years and for a time, I was truly happy and I stopped wondering when the other shoe would drop. Then … It was it, I thought this was the other shoe, the beginning of the end where you would finally notice someone younger, prettier, able to follow you through each stage of your life …”_ _ _ _

____Kara’s staring at her but Cat can’t quite read her eyes. There’s too many emotions swirling in those deep, deep baby blue eyes and she’s scared to make out a single one of them. Kara’s silence is setting her more on edge with each passing second. She’s just been brutally honest, with herself and with Kara and she can’t take the stillness of the other woman much longer._ _ _ _

____“You … It started out of jealousy?” Kara asks and her voice sounds astonished. Cat recoils at the ugly words and she thinks it’s so much more than that but then again, it did start with a picture of Kara with another woman so she supposes the youngest Danvers is right._ _ _ _

____“I … I imagine you could say that, yes. It’s so much more than that, though. I didn’t react to it very well and I am truly, deeply sorry Kara.” Cat whispers the end of the sentence because she thinks it’s truly the end of it. Of everything they are, everything they were and everything they could have been in the future. She’s terrified and her heart is breaking all over again in her chest. She knows Kara can hear it._ _ _ _

____“Do you love me?” Cat gasps at the unexpected question but Kara looks at her with wounded eyes, despite the seriousness of her expression. Cat doesn’t have to think to answer that._ _ _ _

____“I do. I love you, Kara, more than I love my work, more than I love my company, more than I love myself. I love you and I am so, so sorry for everything I’ve said, for how I reacted. You could think that after ten years being together, I would be better at expressing myself but …” She trails off and shakes her head again before focusing on Kara._ _ _ _

____“I love you, I never stopped and I don’t think I ever will.” Cat hears the words coming out of her mouth and it’s the purest truth ever._ _ _ _

____Kara doesn’t move and Cat’s heart stops altogether in her chest. She knew it was a possibility when she came here, that it was something she had messed up too badly and she didn’t really expect another shot at happiness but it still hurt._ _ _ _

____Then suddenly, there're lips on her owns and it’s hungry, messy, desperate too. She gasps and there’s a sob escaping her mouth as she reaches both hands to capture Kara’s cheeks. She’s crying in the kiss but she doesn’t care and Kara doesn’t stop devouring her mouth and she feels at home again._ _ _ _

____It’s a little broken, it will take time and efforts and compromises and it won’t be perfect but it’s here and she is almost passing out from relief._ _ _ _

____“Don’t you ever do something like that again.” Kara’s voice is heavy and haunted and Cat nods because she knows she can’t afford to mess up again, they won’t survive it this time. She knows she will always feel insecure and not enough for the superhero but she will have to work on it. Kara bites her bottom lip and Cat moans before pulling away just enough so she can bury her head in Kara’s shoulder. She feels two strong arms around her and she sighs because she really thought she would never feel it again._ _ _ _

____She cries for a few minutes, relief and remorse swirling out of her in a flood of tears she can’t seem to stop and Kara is gently stroking her back, up and down and with just enough force for the gesture to be soothing. She’s exhausted and emotionally drained out but she’s clinging to Kara’s clothes, breathing in the spicy yet floral perfume she’s wearing. It’s familiar and comforting and it reminds her of home._ _ _ _

____“Marry me.”_ _ _ _

____She thinks she imagined the words so she doesn’t move but then Kara is pulling away and Cat clings harder, terrified she’s about to leave.  
But Kara smiles and looks at her, right in the eyes, when she murmurs “Marry me.”_ _ _ _

____Cat’s eyes widens with surprise and confusion and she blinks a few times. Her voice is squeaking a little when she asks “What?”_ _ _ _

____“You heard me. Marry me. I want to be your wife and I want you to be mine. I know we need to talk about those insecurities you’re carrying around and I know it won’t be easy and I don’t ask simply because we just started to work on our issues. I wanted to ask you for years but everytime … everytime I lost my courage and you’ve been married before and you seemed content with what we had so I never really asked but Cat. We’ve been together for over ten years. I want to marry you.” Kara is deadly serious and Cat can see the love and the determination burning like a fire in her baby blue eyes. It’s intense and exhilarating and all Cat can think of is that she wants to see that love in those eyes for the rest of her life._ _ _ _

____She knows there are a lot of things they need to talk about. She knows Kara will still go to Syria on Sunday. She knows she will probably have a few more crises while she ages and Kara doesn’t get a crinkle. She knows it’s never going to be easy but then again, she knew that from the very beginning._ _ _ _

____Her voice is soft but sure when she answers._ _ _ _

____“Yes.”_ _ _ _

____When Alex, Maggie and Lizzie come home a few hours later, they find Cat and Kara asleep on the couch, entangled together and a smile on both their faces._ _ _ _

**Author's Note:**

> Hi guys!
> 
> This was a prompt for me on Tumblr ( _I gifted it back to the owner as you can see_ ) and I got carried away. It's a little angsty but for once I wrote something of a happy ending! I hope you liked it. I'm sorry if there is any mistake, I got a confused with the tenses ( _English isn't my first language_ )
> 
> The title is from a song that fits the story, **Armor** by _Landon Austin_
> 
> You can find me on tumblr, I'm **lost-your-memory**
> 
> Reviews are always nice ♥


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